| Erin Elizabeth, I have absolutely no idea what is going n with you, cause I haven't heard from you too much lately. I hope all is well. Here's a quick update on what I've been up to lately. Nothing. Except, the other night, Derek, Brian, and I went out to a bar in JP called the Jennie Johnston. We got there at about 7, had a bite to eat, and started drinking a bit. The bartender was more of a Masshole than I am, and had a huge tattoo of a butterfly on her cleavage. Her boobs were OUT of her shirt too, and she had a brutal tan. Like cancerous. Anyway, she decided that we were pretty cool dudes, so she was chatting with us throughout the night, laughing and whatnot. We got piss drunk. Then, karaoke began. Derek, Brian, and I proceeded to let loose with some wild cheering and clapping everytime someone would get up to sing. This apparantly made the bartender even more stoked on us because she gave us various free rounds of shots. Eventually, she began taking shots with us. Meanwhile, two sorta manly lesbians sat down at the bar next to us. They were totally entertained by our drunken buffonnery, as well, and decided that it would be a really good idea to buy us another round of shots. At this point I was hammed beyond belief. I didn't really realize it, but I got up to go to the bathroom and almost took a dude out stumbling across the room. So, anyway. I made it to the bathroom, and was thinking about calling it for the night, but when I got back to the bar. There was another beer waiting for me. I drank it. After that I had to call it, but I had a really hard time finding my way out of the bar. I seriously could not find the door. It was bad news. One of the lesbians witnessed my struggle, pointed me in the right direction, and then decided to kiss me on the mouth and tell me that she loved me. Yeah. I checked the reciept for the bar the next day, and I guess I gave the bartender a 16 dollar tip, so even though I almost broke through a window trying to get out of the place and made out with a lesbian, I still will be welcome there if I ever decide to show my face there again. Andrew Dear Andrew, Well, I wish I could say that my life was that exciting. The most entertainment I get out of my day is when I draw pictures for one of the sweetly retarded dishwashers at my work. Everyone there has taken quite a liking to me. Even the regulars are warming up to me, now that I am getting better at guessing their orders and actually making their food correctly. All I can say is thank god for construction workers. They are the only ones who tip well. I haven't been ignoring you, nor have I been dead or any of that shit. I have simply been busy. It's hard to imagine, given all the time I have spent in the past few months doing absolutely fucking nothing. Now I am quite occupied. I don't usually feel like walking to the library after standing for 8 hours. I've been getting wicked fat eating bagels all the time. It's pretty sweet, cause I had been surviving on a diet of 99 cent loaves of bread up until a few weeks ago. Introducing more complex carbs into my diet has done wonders for my bowel movements. Last weekend was Parents weekend at Penn, and the rich ass bastards poured in with their rich ass parents all weekend long. People were complaining when their omelets (cooked to order) took longer than twenty minutes to make. I tried to explain to them that the store was full and that our stove was only so big, and that if they waited 45 minutes on line then it was a pretty safe bet that their food would take about as long to cook. I had a few people yell at me for not bringing their food directly to them, but sorry, I don't respond to finger snapping and if they're not going to tip me I'm not going to be their waitress. All bitching aside, work is pretty fun. And I have money. Glorious, delicious, wonderful money. Money money money. It makes the world go 'round. (this is what I get working at a jewish deli) Anyway, that's about all that I have to say now. Hopefully I'll be getting around to a computer more often, but I don't know. I am really looking forward to the day when I can afford internet access in my own home. It seems like a far away place though. Until then, try writing me letters on paper and then mailing them to me, if you can afford the 37 cents. I'd appreciate it. I have that picture you drew me hanging on my refrigerator right now. Come visit soon. Love, Erin Elizabeth. PS Derek is a lesbian. |
